Tag Archives: Zappa

How to cook Lingonberry Ice Cream with a coffee maker.

We spent the weekend in our cabin. After a long day’s work in the sun Dan drove and bought ice creams. Yum!

coffee machine cuisine

I have cooked a couple of different ice creams in my coffee maker and the very best is of course the Lingonberry Ice Cream…

cooking with your coffee maker

Time

  • 6 hours

Ingredients

  • 2,5 dl cream
  • 2-3 egg yolks (the yolks I used was pretty small so I used 3)
  • 3/4 dl sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla sugar
  • 1-1,5 dl lingonberries
  • A couple of meringues
  • Basil leaves

Instructions

Start your coffee maker. Pour cream in the coffee maker carafe and heat it for almost an hour, it must get really warm. Give it a good whip every now and then, you know how easily cream burn.

Meanwhile mix eggs, sugar and vanilla together so it get’s fluffy. Pour the egg fluff with the warm cream in the carafe and put it back on the heater. Now this mixture shall coffee maker cook for a while until it thickens a bit, about 45 minutes. Don’t forget to stir. Turn off your coffee maker.

Before you add lingonberries and meringues let it cool for a while. Thereafter add lingonberries and meringues into the mixture and pour the ice-cream into forms. Place them in your freezer, stir every 30 minutes, until they get a nice ice-creamy consistency.

Eat and enjoy!

cooking with your coffee maker

The cream is cooking in the coffee maker can.

cooking with your coffee maker

This is how you cook lingonberry ice-cream with your coffee maker!

cooking with your coffee maker

Approved by Zappa.

cooking with your coffee maker

Chillin’.

cooking with your coffee maker

Didn’t find baby meringues, but this worked just fine.

cooking with your coffee maker

Can you see what’s standing next to the coffee maker made ice-cream? An ice-cream machine, ha!

cooking with your coffee maker

Eat it before it melts too much! (You probably won’t have that problem if you mustn’t wait for the photo shoot of the coffee maker made lingonberry ice-cream presentation.)

how to cook food with your coffee maker

I get many questions about if it’s tricky to clean up after cooking. Answer: Not at all.

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Delicious Tapas

Obviously tapas is great to cook with a coffee maker so I’ve made lots of different dishes these past years.  All of today’s tapas are delicious and very easy to cook with a coffee maker. This is how you do it.

coffee machine cuisine

 

Time

  • 30-45 min / tapas

Ingredients

  • Bacon wrapped date plums
  • Bacon
  • Date plums
  • Cheese filled peppers
  • Peppers
  • Philadelphia
  • Red onion
  • Garlic
  • Cayenne Pepper
  • Chili
  • Balsamic vinegar
  • Serrano Wrapped halloumi
  • Serrano
  • Halloumi
  • Honey
  • Camembert with tomato stuff
  • Camembert in a size that fits the heater
  • Mini tomatoes
  • Parsley
  • Salt
  • Olive oil
  • Arugula

Instructions

Start the coffee maker and prep the different tapas.

Bacon wrapped date plums
Cut the bacon slices in half and wrap the dates. Fry them on the heater until the bacon gets crispy and golden. Twist and turn occasionally.

Cheese filled peppers
Mix the cheese with chopped onion, a little garlic and season. Cut the top off the peppers and fill it with the delicious goo. Fry them on the heater until they get golden. Twist and turn occasionally.

Drizzle balsamic vinegar over the finished tapas.

Serrano Wrapped Halloumi
Cut halloumi into small pieces and wrap it with slices of serrano. Twist and turn occasionally until it seems finished.

Drizzle some honey over the finished tapas.

Camembert with tomato stuff
Heat a dash of oil in the carafe and add chopped mini tomatoes, parsley and a pinch of salt. Carafe-fry until it has become thoroughly heated.

Grease the heater and place the cheese on it. Fry it approximately 15 minutes on each side. Add the tomato stuff on top on the cheese when finished.

Turn off the coffee maker and serve the different tapas on a fresh bed of arugula.

coffee machine cuisine

Prepping of the coffee maker cooked tapas!

coffee machine cuisine

Sous chef Zappa helped out as always.

coffee machine cuisine

Everything gets better with bacon? I’ve actually tried that and will post the results in another post (it’s not true).

coffee machine cuisine

Can-frying of the tomato stuff.

coffee machine cuisine

How to cook tapas with your coffee maker.

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

How to poach an egg with a coffee maker – VIDEO

The coffee maker is also a perfect device to poach your eggs with, I’ll show you that in this YouTube episode of The Coffee Maker Chef. And – FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF COFFEE MACHINE CUISINE – I’ll show you the traditional way of cooking your coffee with a coffee maker.

Enjoy!

And, as always, I speak Swedish but it comes with English subtitles.

How to cook a birthday cake for cats – VIDEO!

Haha, this is my favorite video recipe so far. We had so much fun when we filmed it, I almost puked a numerous of times, the poor photographer couldn’t escape the disgusting smell, Zappa was all over the place, Gucci was depressed (but I cheered her up with a party hat on top of her cone of shame) and Iggy almost died (fortunately that was edited).

WHAT A PARTY!

cooking with your coffee maker

Time

  • 3 hours (including cooling)

Ingredients

  • 1 bowl of dry foods
  • 1 pkg. of liver pâté
  • Some sheets of ham
  • Wet food
  • Shrimps
  • 1 egg yolk
  • Cat treats

Instructions

Add the dry food into the carafe and pour water into the brewer. Start your coffee maker and cook it until the dry food loosen up properly. Season with shrimps, stir and drain extra water if needed. Add an egg yolk and stir some more. Turn off your coffee maker.

Wrap the inside of an heart formed bowl (or whatever form you got) with cling film (this will make it easier to remove cake from bowl) and add some of the dry food mixture in the bottom. Layer with ham, shrimps, wet food, more dry food mixture, cat treats or other stuff that your cat fancies. Let the cake cool and stiff for a while in the freezer.

Remove the cake from the bowl and remove the cling film. Frost the cake with liver pâté and decorate it with cat treats, garlic press pressed pâté and top with a flower of ham.

Serve the cake accompanied with a bowl of yummy cat milk.

Purrfect!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook cat testicles with your coffee maker

Speaking of ballz… A while back ago, when I posted the “How to cook a cat with your coffee maker” on my Swedish blog, some people got kind of upset. I got all kind of weird comments but especially one got me very confused. This one person called me a cannibal and I really don’t get it. I’m not a cat (regardless of what Chris Ramsey believes). Iggy is not a human. So if I ate her (or if she ate me) that’s not cannibalism? Then it would be cannibalism if I ate a chicken, a cow, a pig or even if I swallowed a fly. And isn’t it normal in like China to eat both cats and dogs? And most of the Chinese people aren’t cannibals, are they? No, that was just a really stupid comment that I got.

But some people are kind of stupid and for those people I followed up with this next recipe, just to clear things out. If a cat eat parts of a cat – THAT´S cannibalism.

Or should I say canniballism

Fittingly the day after I got the comment we left Zappa for neutering. So now I give you my canniball-recipe:

how to cook food with your coffee maker how to cook food with your coffee maker

Time

  • 1 hour (excl. neutering)

Ingredients

  • 1 set of fresh cat testicles
  • 2 shrimps
  • 1 tbsp of Russian caviar (only the best for the best!)
  • Some minced meat
  • 1 quail egg yolk
  • 1 dash of oil
  • Some rocket salad

Instructions

Leave your male cat at the vets in the morning and pick him and “the remains” up in the afternoon.

Pour water into the coffee maker brewer and place the balls in the coffee maker carafe. Start your coffee maker and cook the balls until they get a bit more tender – but still with a crunchy core. The time depends on the size of the balls.

Meanwhile, prepare for the plating that ought to be kind of small portions – suitable for your cat. First a small bed of arugula, then a nice and round portion of minced meat and top with an egg yolk and a ball next to it.

Since it’s most often two balls I wanted to make two slightly different dishes. First the arugula, then the meat, but now top with shrimp, caviar and – of course – the second testicle.

Turn off your coffee maker.

Ready to be served!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Trying to find a suitaball recipe.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Don’t play with the food, Zappa!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook cat testicles with your coffee maker.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

“Smells ballmy…”

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Nice to lick some ballz.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

“Thank you, Mami. That was delectaball!”

Now, that wasn’t hard to understand. Was it?

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Zappa at the vet’s

The other day we had to go to the emergency with Zappa since he had problem peeing. At first I wasn’t that worried but after speaking with the vet and some googling I was sure that this is the end for Zappa. If we are lucky a penis amputation could save him. PENIS AMPUTATION! Well this is what happens when you google diseases.

When we arrived they immediately examined Zappa but since it didn’t seem like he had a life threatening condition we had to sit and wait for a while. It’s quite funny to have a sphynx. People in the waiting room laughed at him, pointed at him and burst out “Ooooh!”. Probably because their own animals were such boring and ugly creatures.

The veterinarian didn’t like him much. She called him a “Slippery eel” and seemed to think that he was quite annoying. He wasn’t. He was the best cat in the world, like he always is. But the vet didn’t agree, quickly put a needle in his neck and sedated him.

This is what he looked like.

Hahaha!! Isn’t he the most fantastic cat? I can’t stop laughing at him. Felt like a lousy human to Zappa but even during his examination I couldn’t stop laughing and took lots of picture of my poor cat. Tried to pull out his tongue for an even better photo but Dan wouldn’t let me. We also found out that Zappa had an extremely small penis and the vet had lots of problem taking urine samples from him. Well after a while they had their samples and didn’t find anything unusual (but we are waiting for the results of some of the other test that they couldn’t determine at the time) so they gave him an injection with adrenaline, or something like that, so he would wake up. “Wake up”. He didn’t quite wake up for lots of hours. And he couldn’t close his mouth during these hours either…


On monday we have another appointment. Let’s all hope that he’s well, that he won’t die nor amputate his little penis and that they will have to sedate him again so that I can take some more photos.

How to cook Swedish Meatballs with your Coffee Maker – VIDEO!

Swedish meatballs are the greatest. And you shouldn’t try to make them from scratch. Buy prepared ones and they will taste much better, like the ones at IKEA. The meatballs must be served with mashed potatoes and lots of lingonberries.

Of course I have made both home made meatballs, lingonberry jam and mashed potatoes with my coffee maker but I reckon I should show you a really simple recipe (although I obviously had some trouble making it as you can see in the clip…) for all of you students out there! This was one of my favorite dishes to prepare when I lived in that dorm in the beginning of my coffee maker experiment.

And please subscribe to my show The Coffee Maker Chef! I’ve seen some upcoming clips and it’s going to be sooo awesome weird.

Happy midsummer!

Haha, I never get tired of this. Last week we went to our cabin again and some friends joined us. I’ve already told you about Zappa and his sock hat and this time it was the same procedure again when we entered the smaller road. He’s like “OPEN THE FREKKIN WINDOW NOOOOOW, HUMAN!” and tries to smash it with his wrinkly head if I won’t open right away.

First I showed our friends in the back seat what it’s like for him without the sock hat. They immediately understood the problem. Then I put the sock hat on and they were amazed and probably thought I’m the smartest crazy cat woman in the world.

Kalle filmed him (and sang a gangster song as well):

Soon (in two hours) we’re off to the cabin again! We’re going to celebrate midsummer – THE best holiday in my opinion. That and crayfish parties. Or all parties really as long as you get to sing schnaps songs and wear hats. But I especially like the Midsummer hats that are made of flowers, leaves and stuff. Even made one to Gucci last year.Swedish midsummerI always forget that this is supposed to be a blog about food and not about cats. Maybe I should post a midsummer recipe as well. Yup, I’ll do that. You know? The most popular dish we Swedes eat on midsummer (well on every holiday, because we eat the same stuff on all holidays) is the soused herring. Hell, that’s disgusting. I remember last midsummer when our guests arrived and brought lots of this shit and I almost puked in front of them by the thought of it. Now that’s a proper welcome, right? I don’t like herring at all any longer and I’ve told you the story before and you can read about it here (beware of disgusting stuff, like puke- and diarrhea disgusting).

If you should try herring, try this type. This I actually loved (but if you read the story you know why I don’t any longer).

Pickled herring with onion

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Time

  • 1 hour + preparations and cooling

Ingredients

  • 1 tin of herring fillets
  • 0.5 dl vinegar
  • 2.5 dl water
  • 2 tsp pimento
  • 2 bay leaves
  • ½ dl sugar
  • 1 onion
  • 1 red onion
  • ½ leek

Instructions

Open the tin and drain the disgusting liquid stuff. Rinse the fillets and put it in a coffee carafe filled with water overnight.

Divide the herring into small pieces the following day and chop up all of the different onions.

Place everything except the herring (and the water) in the coffee carafe and pour the water into the brewer. Start the coffee maker. Let it coffee maker cook for about 30 minutes and then let it cool. Turn off the coffeemaker. Add the herring and pour everything into a fancy jar. It’s an old Swedish tradition as well that you should decorate the jar with some kind of balloon animal.

Serve.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

You could put the fillets in other bowls, but this is the coffee machine cuisine, right?

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook pickled herrings in your coffee maker.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Typical Swedish christmas easter midsummer food.

Happy midsummer!

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Zappa the Cat and his sock hat

Zappa likes to hang out the car window with his head, like a dog, when we’re driving around. Especially when we drive off the highway, onto a smaller road when we’re driving to our cabin. He gets stoked every time because he knows exactly where we are and that it’s not far to go before he can proceed with his mouse massacre he has going on there. He notice the road change right away and starts screaming if I don’t open the window. But there is a problem with this, his ears are too big and flutters all the time because of the wind. If we don’t drive super slow he finds it very annoying.

I recently came up with this great idea. A sock hat.

cat in a hat

I cut a small hole in the sock.

Yes, you may think this is a bit crazy. And maybe it is. Zappa wasn’t very happy about it either when I tried the sock hat at home. But last weekend when we went to our cabin, drove off the highway and on to the smaller road he once again started screaming and made me open the window. His big Yoda ears started to flutter as usual and then I put the sock hat on… AND CHECK THIS OUT!

(fitting soundtrack, huh?)

100% flutter free! His little head dangled out the window until his eyes shriveled.

No, they didn’t.

HA! And you know what? We also slowly cruised by a school class with like first graders waiting for the bus. Of course with Zappa’s head outside the window wearing the sock hat. Imagine their reactions…

The return of Iggy the Cat

Whoa, some people went all bananas on different sites and forums because of the “How to cook your cat” post. Don’t know why? I can understand that Dan was slightly upset, since Iggy was his favorite cat. But for you other guys, I reckon this shouldn’t be worse than if I slaughtered a pig or a chicken.

Here are some of the comments, I had to censor the first one.

“I just read her blog “coffee machine cuisine” … She killed and cooked her cat…. I can’t find anything in that post that indicates it’s a joke either…. Crazy c*nt.” 

//Heidi Hamilton

This is my favorite.

“You are a cruel, mean and disgusting human who does not deserve the affection of an animal or to be allowed to have pets! I will I hope one day that someone comes up to you and holds you at gun point so you have “scared little eyes” and shoots you to put in a stew. I know you’re probably dans favourite girlfriend but if he’s as heartless as you are “he will get over it””

//G. A. Aka batshit* crazy cat lady

Interesting point there miss G.A. Do you have a recipe of human stew that I can forward to Dan? Maybe he and one of his other girlfriends (that he probably likes slightly less) can have a coffee maker cooked stew feast.

No, this can’t go on. This is supposed to be a feel-god blog, I definitely don’t want to become a stew, and since Dan misses Iggy a lot there is only one right thing to do…

…The Pet Sematary thing.

* I added that.

cooking with your coffee maker

It’s alive!

OMG it worked! We sacrificed a chicken (that someone else shot) and whoopie doo – Iggy came back from the dead.

cooking with a coffee maker

Here’s the chicken that someone else murdered but that we bought and sacrificed to the other side.

Now the family is all back together again. Well, the best parts of this family that is. Dan’s other girlfriends weren’t invited to the reunion.

cooking with a coffee maker

My little darling! It’s so nice to eat MEET you again.

cooking with a coffee maker

Zappa was happy to see Iggy again.

cooking with a coffee maker

On our way back home. Don’t worry, Gucci is sleeping in the yellow bag… OR IS SHE?

Ironically Iggy almost died again just after the last photo was taken. This idiot walked his dog on the cemetery WITHOUT A LEASH (that’s forbidden here). Madness. That disgusting dog tried to attack the cats and I almost sacrificed my life to save them (so we’re like even now, right?).

Dog owners are frekkin crazy people. Ugh. KEEP YOUR DOGS ON A LEASH FFS.

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

How to cook a birthday cake for your cat with a coffee maker.

Today is Gucci’s birthday! I’m not quite sure how old she is (her pedigree is somewhere at my parents’ place) but I think it’s her sweet 16. For her 15th (?) birthday I made her this birthday cake. I will never do it again because the smell was horrible and I almost threw up a couple of times.

But it looks quite nice, huh? A great tip is to starve your cats for a while before serving the cake. Our cats weren’t hungry when I finally served it so all of it was for nothing.

cooking with your coffee maker

 

Time

  • 3 hours (including cooling)

Ingredients

  • 1 bowl of dry foods
  • 1 pkg. of liver pâté
  • Some sheets of ham
  • Wet food
  • Shrimps
  • 1 egg yolk
  • Cat treats

Instructions

Add the dry food to the carafe and pour water into the brewer. Start your coffee maker and cook it until the dry food loosen up properly. Season with shrimps, stir and drain extra water if needed. Add an egg yolk and stir some more. Turn off your coffee maker.

Wrap the inside of an heart formed bowl (or whatever form you got) with cling film (this will make it easier to remove cake from bowl) and add some of the dry food mixture in the bottom. Layer with ham, shrimps, wet food, more dry food mixture, cat treats or other stuff that your cat fancies. Let the cake cool and stiff for a while in the freezer.

Remove the cake from the bowl and remove the cling film. Frost the cake with liver pâté and decorate it with cat treats, garlic press pressed pâté and top with a ham flower. ;)

Serve the cake accompanied with a bowl of yummy cat milk.

Purrfect!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

I can’t even explain how disgusting I think this smells…

how to cook food with your coffee maker

…but Zappa think it smells delicious!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook a birthday cake for your cat with a coffee maker.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Let the bowl of disgustingness cool of for a while.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Layer with dry food mixture, wet food, shrimps, ham or whatever your little fur ball fancies. Frost the cake with liver pâté.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

In honor of the day Iggy was dressed up in her pink boa…

how to cook food with your coffee maker

…and Zappa was super handsome in his bow tie…

how to cook food with your coffee maker

…and of course the meowsome birthday girl Gucci was looking more beautiful than ever!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

They all tasted the cake, but like I said before… Starve them a while so they will appreciate all of your work more.

Happy birthday Gucci! Did you know that she’s got her own blog? She’s quite famous you see. Check it out! 

This is the music that will play all day long…

♫♫♫ Meow, meow, meow! ♫♫♫

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

How to cook sushi with your coffee maker

cooking with your coffee maker

Time

1,5 hour

Ingredients

  • 1 sushi making kit (with rice, rice vinegar, wasabi, soy sauce, ginger, seaweed sheets, bamboo sushi mat, sticks)
  • 200 g salmon
  • 1 cucumber
  • 2 carrots
  • 2 avocados
  • Salt

Instructions

Pour water into the brewer, salt in the filter thingy and the rice into the carafe. Start your coffee maker. Let the rice cook in your coffee maker for about… I don’t know exactly, that depends on what rice you are using. I overcooked my rice. Don’t do that.

Turn off your coffee maker.

Mix the rice vinegar with the rice. Let it cool. Meanwhile shred the vegetables and the salmon into long thin strips.

Take the bamboo sushi mat and place a piece of seaweed on top. Add rice, salmon, maybe some wasabi and vegetables in the middle of the seaweed and roll up the bamboo mat slowly. Remove the roll from the mat and leave it with the joining edges downwards. Don’t place in the fridge because this dries out the rice.

Use a lightly moistened sharp knife to cut the rolls into smaller pieces. Serve with ginger, more wasabi and little bowls of soy sauce.

cooking with your coffee maker

Even though the cats guarded the rice with their lives we completely overcooked it.

cooking with your coffee maker

How to cook sushi with your coffee maker

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

blogging

This is what it looked like when I wrote this blog post…