Category Archives: Cooking with your coffee maker

How to cook a birthday cake for cats – VIDEO!

Haha, this is my favorite video recipe so far. We had so much fun when we filmed it, I almost puked a numerous of times, the poor photographer couldn’t escape the disgusting smell, Zappa was all over the place, Gucci was depressed (but I cheered her up with a party hat on top of her cone of shame) and Iggy almost died (fortunately that was edited).

WHAT A PARTY!

cooking with your coffee maker

Time

  • 3 hours (including cooling)

Ingredients

  • 1 bowl of dry foods
  • 1 pkg. of liver pâté
  • Some sheets of ham
  • Wet food
  • Shrimps
  • 1 egg yolk
  • Cat treats

Instructions

Add the dry food into the carafe and pour water into the brewer. Start your coffee maker and cook it until the dry food loosen up properly. Season with shrimps, stir and drain extra water if needed. Add an egg yolk and stir some more. Turn off your coffee maker.

Wrap the inside of an heart formed bowl (or whatever form you got) with cling film (this will make it easier to remove cake from bowl) and add some of the dry food mixture in the bottom. Layer with ham, shrimps, wet food, more dry food mixture, cat treats or other stuff that your cat fancies. Let the cake cool and stiff for a while in the freezer.

Remove the cake from the bowl and remove the cling film. Frost the cake with liver pâté and decorate it with cat treats, garlic press pressed pâté and top with a flower of ham.

Serve the cake accompanied with a bowl of yummy cat milk.

Purrfect!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook cat testicles with your coffee maker

Speaking of ballz… A while back ago, when I posted the “How to cook a cat with your coffee maker” on my Swedish blog, some people got kind of upset. I got all kind of weird comments but especially one got me very confused. This one person called me a cannibal and I really don’t get it. I’m not a cat (regardless of what Chris Ramsey believes). Iggy is not a human. So if I ate her (or if she ate me) that’s not cannibalism? Then it would be cannibalism if I ate a chicken, a cow, a pig or even if I swallowed a fly. And isn’t it normal in like China to eat both cats and dogs? And most of the Chinese people aren’t cannibals, are they? No, that was just a really stupid comment that I got.

But some people are kind of stupid and for those people I followed up with this next recipe, just to clear things out. If a cat eat parts of a cat – THAT´S cannibalism.

Or should I say canniballism

Fittingly the day after I got the comment we left Zappa for neutering. So now I give you my canniball-recipe:

how to cook food with your coffee maker how to cook food with your coffee maker

Time

  • 1 hour (excl. neutering)

Ingredients

  • 1 set of fresh cat testicles
  • 2 shrimps
  • 1 tbsp of Russian caviar (only the best for the best!)
  • Some minced meat
  • 1 quail egg yolk
  • 1 dash of oil
  • Some rocket salad

Instructions

Leave your male cat at the vets in the morning and pick him and “the remains” up in the afternoon.

Pour water into the coffee maker brewer and place the balls in the coffee maker carafe. Start your coffee maker and cook the balls until they get a bit more tender – but still with a crunchy core. The time depends on the size of the balls.

Meanwhile, prepare for the plating that ought to be kind of small portions – suitable for your cat. First a small bed of arugula, then a nice and round portion of minced meat and top with an egg yolk and a ball next to it.

Since it’s most often two balls I wanted to make two slightly different dishes. First the arugula, then the meat, but now top with shrimp, caviar and – of course – the second testicle.

Turn off your coffee maker.

Ready to be served!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Trying to find a suitaball recipe.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Don’t play with the food, Zappa!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook cat testicles with your coffee maker.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

“Smells ballmy…”

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Nice to lick some ballz.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

“Thank you, Mami. That was delectaball!”

Now, that wasn’t hard to understand. Was it?

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

A fishy coffee maker made soup – VIDEO

I posted this recipe a while back but since it’s one of my favorite recipes (not taste wise because of the saffron that I’m not very fond of) I chose to cook it on my web show “The Coffee Maker Chef” (now with subtitles).

Here’s how you prepare a luxurious fish and shellfish soup with a coffee maker!

Time

  • 1 evening

Ingredients

  • 1 small red onion
  • Some celery leek
  • 1 garlic clove
  • 2,5 dl cream
  • 1 fish stock cube
  • 1 filter thingy filled with mussels (about 15)
  • 1,5 dl white wine
  • 4 dl water
  • 2 Norway lobsters
  • Mixed fish pieces (I used salmon and some other fish that I don’t know what it was)
  • 1 handful of prawns
  • Saffron
  • Cayenne pepper
  • Salt
  • Bell pepper
  • Sugar peas
  • Curry
  • Butter

Instructions

Start your coffee maker. Melt the butter in the coffee maker carafe and fry all the chopped onions for about 30 minutes. Meanwhile scrub the mussels and sort out the ones that’s crappy.

Pour cream, fish stock cube and wine in the carafe, place the mussels in the filter thingy and pour water into the coffee brewer. Now the mussels will be cooked perfectly in the filter holder. Amazing, right!?! Let it coffee maker cook for at least an hour so it gets really warm. Season.

Add Norway lobsters, prawns, and the mussels a short while to improve the taste even more. Finally add the fish pieces, the crispy bell pepper pieces and sugar peas. Let it coffee maker cook for another 10 minutes – or until the fish is ready.

Turn off your coffee maker and serve this delicious (?) 100% coffee maker cooked dinner.

cooking with your coffee maker

Coffee maker carafe-frying!

cooking with your coffee maker

Cool, huh!?

cooking with your coffee maker

This is so clever. I’m like a geniuse!

cooking with your coffee maker

F*ckin’ fishylicious!

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Nutella Day 2015

coffee machine cuisine

Time

1,5 hour for three pancakes

Ingredients

  • 1 dl flour
  • 2 dl milk
  • 1 egg
  • 1 dash salt
  • Butter
  • Whip cream (with caramel color if you want to make it prettier)
  • 1 banana
  • Nutella
  • Optional toppings: Powdered sugar and chocolate sauce

Instructions

Start the coffee maker and put a small piece of butter on the coffee maker plate. Mix flour, milk, egg and salt smooth.

Scoop the batter onto the coffee maker plate and cook until surface of pancakes have some bubbles and a few have burst. Flip carefully with a thin spatula, and cook until browned on the underside.

Transfer the pancake to a platter and continue with more butter and the remaining batter. Turn off the coffee maker when finished.

Add Nutella, banana pieces and whipped cream to the pancakes and fold them. Sprinkle some powdered sugar and chocolate over the pancakes, serve and celebrate.

coffee machine cuisine

coffee machine cuisine

coffee machine cuisine

coffee machine cuisine

Foto: Dan Sörensen.

I also have a clip that shows how to cook pancakes with your coffee maker. I speak Swedish, but it comes with English subtitles.

Swedish Mud Cake Day

I often get the question if I sometimes fail at doing a recipe with my coffee maker. I’ve always answered “No, I can cook everything with my coffee maker.”. I lie. First of all, I’m not a great chef and my over all cooking skills is kind of limited, but the things I do try and cook with my coffee maker I most often pull off.

Today Facebook exploded with Swedish mud cake recipes since it’s the Swedish Mud Cake Day. I got reminded of the mud cake experiment I had a couple of years ago. This is the only recipe (that I remember) that I couldn’t pull.

I really do believe though that if I try cooking a mud cake today – I will make it work.

swedish mud cake

You can have a look at the recipe on my Swedish blog. But since it’s my worst recipe I won’t bother to translate it. I also think those pictures speak for themselves.

Cinnamon bun day!

Every year on October 4th we Swedes celebrate Cinnamon Bun Day. As you will see, in this special cinnamon bun post, I have baked many different types these last couple of years. 

Time

That depends on the device you use and if you bake from scratch. But at least a couple of hours.

Ingredients

  • 1 package of instant dough. Or google another recipe if you’d like to bake from scratch.
  • Lots of butter
  • Lots of sugar
  • Lots of cinnamon
  • Pearl sugar

Instructions

The preparations for all of the different sorts are the same. Just read the instant dough package when preparing the dough.

how to cook with your coffee maker

I prefer to buy those packages of instant dough because I think it’s boring to make a dough from scratch and it takes forever.

how to cook with your coffee maker

This is the heart of cinnamon buns. Cinnamon, sugar and butter.

 

The oven baked ones:

Most people now bake the buns in their oven and I’ve tried that as well. I burned them.

how to cook with your coffee maker

Oven baked ones.

It sure is boring to oven bake cinnamon buns so here’s some other, more fun, types.

 

The sandwich grill baked ones:

Place the buns into the sandwich grill. Press.

how to cook with your coffee maker

Butter up before.

how to cook with your coffee maker

Tadaa! Baking time: Just a couple of minutes. A great way to bake the buns!

 

The coffee maker baked ones:

I’ve baked three different types of cinnamon buns with my coffee maker…

1. The pizza sized model.

Shape it like a small pizza in size of the coffee maker heater. Place it onto the buttered coffee maker heater.

how to cook with your coffee maker

how to cook with your coffee maker

This is Zappa’s favorite. Baking time: 30 minutes.

2. The praline sized model.

Shape the like a small sized cinnamon bun. Place them onto the buttered coffee maker heater.

how to cook with your coffee maker

Cute, huh? Baking time: 20 minutes.

3. And of course the normal sized model.

Shape the like a normal sized cinnamon bun. Place them onto the buttered coffee maker heater.

how to cook with your coffee maker

Iggy was in charge of baking this one. Baking time: 30 minutes.

Now to my favorite way of baking cinnamon buns…

 

The hair cruncher baked ones:

I don’t know the English name of this device… Hair cruncher? Hair waffler? Place the bun between the waffled shaped arms. Press.

how to cook with your coffee maker

Baking time: A couple of minutes.

how to cook with your coffee maker

I just love the shape of them!

how to cook with your coffee maker

Do I even have to explain how lovely your hair will smell the next time you will waffle your hair? Way better than after making this recipe

Which one is your favorite?

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

When I competed in the Tapas Swedish Championship…

I’ve made Tapas many times with my coffee maker. One time, a couple of years ago in the beginning of my “cooking career”, I uploaded my tapas recipe for the Swedish Tapas Championship. Didn’t think much of it afterwards since it was a coffee maker cooked tapas that I uploaded just for fun. BUT IT REACHED THE FINALS! So I had to go to Stockholm and prepare my tapas together with a couple of other finalists (they were more or less pros) in a big kitchen. So I stood there with my coffee maker while all of the others used more “traditional” ways to cook their dish. That was so weird.

coffee machine cuisine

Since I had to wait a long time for my tapas to coffee maker cook I just drank loads of wine (it was a wine distributor that arranged the competition = FREE WINE WEHU!)

Then I had to present my dish in front of a jury! They didn’t know that it was cooked with a coffee maker and when I told them they first thought I was a complete moron that made fun of the championship. But after they announced the winner (it wasn’t me) and all of us had a dinner I told them more about my experiment. And they loved it! Or they might also have thought that I was mentally challenged and were just being nice to me.

tapas championship

Just look at them! WEIRD! The guy in red is a former Swedish musician that I had a huge crush on when I was little, that made it even more weird.

squid tapas

It looked kind of nice though, right?

I wasn’t supposed to write about this tapas today. I’ve got a brand new recipe I made a couple of days ago – with great tasting tapas (I’ve learned a lot these past years!). But since I’m going on and on about this dish I might as well continue and that other recipe will have to wait.

The reason why I made this particular tapas was because I fell in love with some squids. Well… Just look at them.

cooking with a coffee maker

<3

So after Dan took some photos of them I had to come up with a recipe. And here it is:

Squid tapas

Time

  • 1 h 30 min

Ingredients

  • Squid
  • Halloumi
  • Red onion
  • Shrimps
  • Lemon salt
  • Pepper
  • Garlic
  • Butter

I made a sauce as well but it had like two thousand ingredients and didn’t even taste that good. I tried to make some kind of a orange/sweet chili sauce. So serve with a nice orange sauce.

Instructions

Clean the squid and chop into smaller pieces. Put a piece on a stick, then a piece of onion and halloumi. Repeat until the stick is full and place a shrimp at the end.

Start your coffee maker. Add butter and garlic onto the coffee maker heater and place the squid tapas directly on it. Fry until they get a golden color. Twist and turn the stick every now and then. Season.

Turn off your coffee maker and serve the squid tapas together with (hopefully) a nice and fresh orange sauce.

squid tapas

How to cook squid tapas with a coffee maker.

coffee machine cuisine

The coffee maker chef in action.

squid tapas

Squid tapas!

wille crafoord

Oh yes. He definitely thought I was “different”.

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

 

 

How to cook Swedish Meatballs with your Coffee Maker – VIDEO!

Swedish meatballs are the greatest. And you shouldn’t try to make them from scratch. Buy prepared ones and they will taste much better, like the ones at IKEA. The meatballs must be served with mashed potatoes and lots of lingonberries.

Of course I have made both home made meatballs, lingonberry jam and mashed potatoes with my coffee maker but I reckon I should show you a really simple recipe (although I obviously had some trouble making it as you can see in the clip…) for all of you students out there! This was one of my favorite dishes to prepare when I lived in that dorm in the beginning of my coffee maker experiment.

And please subscribe to my show The Coffee Maker Chef! I’ve seen some upcoming clips and it’s going to be sooo awesome weird.

ROSKILDE FESTIVAL

YAAAAY! On sunday Roskilde Festival opens. I can’t wait! We’re driving down south to Lund and Malmö tomorrow and will leave the cats with Dan’s brother and his family. And I’m going to spend some time with my niece, Thilde. This is Thilde.

how to cook food with a coffee maker

The Swedish Mini Coffee Maker Chef <3 Of course she’s wearing her best cat tee whilst cooking with her coffee maker that auntie gave her. Her favorite book is this one, we read it every time we see each other. 

Since my brother and his wife are going to a wedding it’s finally all clear for me and Thilde to cook with their beautiful Mocca Master! (To my brother: NO, I’M JUST KIDDING!!! I KNOW I’M NOT ALLOWED TO COOK WITH YOUR FREKKIN MOCCA MASTER! Chill.)

Anyway… On sunday we’re going to Roskilde and have an amazing week with lots of great music, friends, weirdness and food of course. This is how you cook my favorite festival food with a coffee maker. Canned ravioli! Since I can’t bring my coffee maker to Roskilde I will probably eat this cold every day (too lazy to heat it on the camping area).

FESTIVAL FOOD – CANNED RAVIOLI

cooking with a coffee maker

Time

  • ≥ 0 sec

Ingredients

  • 1 can of ravioli

Instructions

Start your coffee maker and add the ravioli into the carafe. Heat as long as you cope and serve the food directly from the can. Turn off the coffee maker.

cooking with a coffee maker

Yum? Yum!

cooking with a coffee maker

Canned pea-soup is also great festival food, and then there’s Dan’s favorite – white beans. Too bad that Dan is sooo picky and always want to heat the food before eating. Yawn.

Roskilde

Serve the cold ravioli with lukewarm 19 dkk wine from Netto. And look at that little armpit vagina! Sweet.

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Happy midsummer!

Haha, I never get tired of this. Last week we went to our cabin again and some friends joined us. I’ve already told you about Zappa and his sock hat and this time it was the same procedure again when we entered the smaller road. He’s like “OPEN THE FREKKIN WINDOW NOOOOOW, HUMAN!” and tries to smash it with his wrinkly head if I won’t open right away.

First I showed our friends in the back seat what it’s like for him without the sock hat. They immediately understood the problem. Then I put the sock hat on and they were amazed and probably thought I’m the smartest crazy cat woman in the world.

Kalle filmed him (and sang a gangster song as well):

Soon (in two hours) we’re off to the cabin again! We’re going to celebrate midsummer – THE best holiday in my opinion. That and crayfish parties. Or all parties really as long as you get to sing schnaps songs and wear hats. But I especially like the Midsummer hats that are made of flowers, leaves and stuff. Even made one to Gucci last year.Swedish midsummerI always forget that this is supposed to be a blog about food and not about cats. Maybe I should post a midsummer recipe as well. Yup, I’ll do that. You know? The most popular dish we Swedes eat on midsummer (well on every holiday, because we eat the same stuff on all holidays) is the soused herring. Hell, that’s disgusting. I remember last midsummer when our guests arrived and brought lots of this shit and I almost puked in front of them by the thought of it. Now that’s a proper welcome, right? I don’t like herring at all any longer and I’ve told you the story before and you can read about it here (beware of disgusting stuff, like puke- and diarrhea disgusting).

If you should try herring, try this type. This I actually loved (but if you read the story you know why I don’t any longer).

Pickled herring with onion

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Time

  • 1 hour + preparations and cooling

Ingredients

  • 1 tin of herring fillets
  • 0.5 dl vinegar
  • 2.5 dl water
  • 2 tsp pimento
  • 2 bay leaves
  • ½ dl sugar
  • 1 onion
  • 1 red onion
  • ½ leek

Instructions

Open the tin and drain the disgusting liquid stuff. Rinse the fillets and put it in a coffee carafe filled with water overnight.

Divide the herring into small pieces the following day and chop up all of the different onions.

Place everything except the herring (and the water) in the coffee carafe and pour the water into the brewer. Start the coffee maker. Let it coffee maker cook for about 30 minutes and then let it cool. Turn off the coffeemaker. Add the herring and pour everything into a fancy jar. It’s an old Swedish tradition as well that you should decorate the jar with some kind of balloon animal.

Serve.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

You could put the fillets in other bowls, but this is the coffee machine cuisine, right?

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook pickled herrings in your coffee maker.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Typical Swedish christmas easter midsummer food.

Happy midsummer!

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Scrambled eggs with mini sausages

coffee machine cuisine

Time

  • One hour

Ingredients

  • 2 eggs
  • 3 sausages
  • Olive oil
  • Pepper
  • Salt
  • Parmesan
  • Tomato

Instructions

Start your coffee maker and heat some oil in the carafe. Crack the eggs into the carafe and carafe-fry for 20 minutes or so. Stir occasionally. Remove when finished.

Pour a dash of oil directly on the heater. Slice the sausages on the ends and put them on the heater. Fry, and turn every now and then, for 20 minutes. Turn off the coffeemaker.

Serve the eggs and and the sausages with a couple of tomato slices. Add salt, pepper and grated parmesan properly so it tastes something.

coffee machine cuisine

How to cook scrambled eggs with your coffee maker.

coffee machine cuisine

How to fry sausages with your coffee maker

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

How to cook Flying Jakob with a Coffee Maker – VIDEO

Have you ever eaten Flying Jakob? Before I met Dan I ate it all the time. It was one of the few dishes I knew by heart and liked to prepare before I started to cook with my coffee maker (I didn’t really cook back then at all). But since Dan has a bizarre thing against bananas I don’t cook or eat it any more (except this time recently for my web show). He absolutely hates bananas. I love bananas and especially on pizzas. I wanted to test Dan’s banana hate, because I thought he faked it, so I put just a mini piece of banana under some meat on his pizza. I mean, come on!? How bad could it be? Can you really hate a banana? Just too weird.

Well… Some people definitely hates bananas and he is obviously one of them, I know that for sure now. He got furious and spat everything out on MY pizza and then went to the toilet and almost puked.

This is how you cook Flying Jakob with your coffee maker. If you like bananas I hope you will try and cook it, it’s super tasty!

And my web show comes with subtitles now – check it out! 

Time

  • 5 hours

Ingredients

  • 1 plate of chicken
  • 1 plate of bacon
  • 2 ½ dl cream
  • 3 tbsp chili sauce
  • A lot of ketchup
  • 1 banana
  • A lot of sweet chili sauce
  • 1 tsp mustard
  • 2 tsp tomato paste
  • Peanuts
  • Chili powder
  • Chili Salt
  • Pepper
  • Rice

Instructions

Start the coffee maker. Place bacon on the heater and fry it for like 45 minutes, it should get really crispy and golden. Replace bacon with chicken pieces and fry it throughly so you won’t get sick or die.

Once you are done with this it’s time to cook the rice. But first you must remove the chicken, turn off and unplug the coffee maker and wash the plate.

Place the rice in the coffee maker carafe, pour water into the brewer and salt into the filter thingy. Plug in and start your coffee maker again and let it cook until it’s ready. Stir every now and then so the rice won’t stick. Pour the rice in a bowl and place foil over it. Wash the coffee maker carafe.

Slice the banana and mix it with the rest of the ingredients (not bacon nor rice) into the carafe. Cook until it gets really warm and stir occasionally. Season with salt and plenty of pepper. Turn off your coffee maker.

Pour the mess over the rice and top with bacon and some more peanuts. Enjoy!

how to cook food with a coffee maker

How to cook bacon with a coffee maker.

how to cook food with a coffee maker

Don’t forget to stir or it will stick like hell.

how to cook food with a coffee maker

How to cook Flying Jakob with a coffee maker.

how to cook food with a coffee maker

Delish!

Photo: Dan Sörensen.