How to cook christmas chocolate sauce with your coffee maker:
Now we’re off to Spain!
How to cook christmas chocolate sauce with your coffee maker:
Now we’re off to Spain!
Today this little cutie turns four years old!
There are always at least three kinds of breads on the swedish christmas table – the wort bread with raisins, the wort bread without raisins and the crisp bread. Ah, well… We eat the crisp bread to almost every meal here in Sweden, but it is a must on the christmas table. I haven’t baked any type of wort bread yet, but this is how you bake crisp bread on your coffee maker.
Since it’s for the christmas table, let’s call them chrisp breads!
About 1 hour/chrisp bread
Pour water into the coffee maker brewer, start the coffee maker and mix all the other ingredients into a paste in a bowl. Pour the hot water over the paste and stir.
Place some paste directly on the coffee maker plate, flatten it out and leave it there until it becomes hard and crispy. Turn it over and sprinkle some flaked salt and seeds on it. Oh! Before the bread gets too hard you must also make a hole in the middle of chrisp bread. I don’t know why. I’m sure there is a good reason why it should be a hole in all of the round chrisp breads, but I don’t care so much that I want to check it out. It was pleasant nonetheless to eat the chrisp bread when it was ready, and it looked good with the hole. Turn off the coffeemaker.
Eat the chrisp breads with lots, and lots of butter on.
This whole week I’ve been working whilst the christmas carols have been playing on repeat in the background. I’m a bit fed up with christmas stuff right now so let’s wait just a bit with the other christmas recipes.
I live in Gothenburg, Sweden. Gothenburg is well known for it’s fish and shellfish so I would like to share a delicious recipe with those ingredients.
This is how you cook a luxurious fish and shellfish soup in your coffee maker.
Since it christmas time I will continue this week to post recipes that are a must have on the swedish christmas smorgasbord. One of my favorite dishes when I was younger was definitely the pickled herring with onions. There are tons of different types of pickled herrings on the swedish christmas smorgasbords but the one with the onions and the mustard one are probably the most popular. And oh! There is the popular, but absolutely horrible, soused herring as well! This type of pickled herring is THE most disgusting dish I know. I’m not picky at all with food, will eat almost everything. But the soused herring is awful. And it looks very similar to the herring with onions which have ended in a couple of puke attacks for me. Sneaky little bastard, that soused herring.
I actually don’t eat pickled herring at all anymore because of something that happened years ago. I’ll first show you how to cook pickled herring with onions in your coffee maker so you don’t loose your appetite. Then I’ll tell you the story at the end of this post.
1 hour + preparations and cooling
Open the tin and pour off all the disgusting liquid stuff. Rinse the fillets and put it in a coffee can filled with water overnight.
Divide the herring into small pieces the following day and chop up all of the different onions.
Place everything except the herring (and the water) in the coffee can and pour all of the water into the brewer. Start the coffee maker. Let it cook for about 30 minutes and then let it cool off. Turn off the coffeemaker. Add the herring and pour everything into a fancy jar.
Serve on your christmas smorgasbord. Or your easter smorgasbord. Or your midsummer smorgasbord. We swedish people eat the same food at all holidays.
OK! So now I’ll tell you about the incident that made me quit eating herring. If you are a bit squeamish, maybe you shouldn’t read it.
It all happened this christmas about 15 years ago. We celebrated as usual (at that time) at my grandma’s house. Now she’s dead so we don’t do that anymore for obvious reasons. When she died I got her old coffee maker, a few weeks later I started to make my dinners in it.
Anyway! As always my plate was filled with pickled herrings with onion and I binged this all evening. After a while I started to get really sick and had to leave the table and lay down on the couch for a while. The nausea got worse and I almost passed out so my brother decided to give me a lift home. Mom said I looked like a ghost.
During the short car ride home I thought I was going to explode. From all directions! Finally he stopped the car outside our house and I ran straight to the toilet, teared off my pants and… Yeah, you know.
Just when the worst poop pressure was gone I started to retch. Tried to quickly change the position and started to puke like crazy. Then I had to change position due to the diarrhea attacks again. And that went on for a while. Puke and shit. Shit and puke. If I was lucky I managed to flush before puking. Then I passed out on the bathroom floor.
I woke up, a bit groggy, and realized something was stuck in my nose. I was still way to exhausted to move so i just put one finger on the other nostril that was “empty” and started to blow. A large piece of something flew out and was now laying on the floor. Can you guess what it was? Yup, herring fillet! My cat Simba (that is keeping my grandma company by now) had been following the toilet action for all this time and now he got his reward. He ran up to the herring fillet and was all like “Hey, nice! Herring fillet, yum yum yum! Thank you human.”.
I’m sure even that herring piece tasted better than the soused herring does.
Tonight is a big night in Sweden. It’s the “Lussevaka”! Probably 95% of the swedes sits up all night, eating these saffron buns, drinking glögg (mulled wine) and waiting for the Lucia parade to enter and sing the same songs all over again – year after year in really high pitched scary voices. And everybody is like “OOOOooh, that was so beauuuutiful!” afterwards. But, no, it’s not! It sounds horrible. I’m not fond of this tradition at all, I get a bit freaked out from the Lucia parades. OK maybe when kids do it (I guess it could be fun for some of the kids, it sure wasn’t fun for me growing up though), but when adults do it that just gives me the creeps. Adults, you should know better.
My first anxiety attacks started very early in school, maybe in first grade or so, when we had to “perform” in these stupid Lucia parades. I thought it was super awkward, didn’t like the songs (mimed them all when the teachers told me that I couldn’t just stand there and that I had to sing) and we had to read weird poems about baby Jesus, elfs and stuff like “The midwinter night is cold and intense. The stars are shimmering and glittering.” And it was always someone in the Lucia parade that fainted (haha, I just read this article – it says that FIFTEEN children in that parade fainted). I don’t now why I hated it so much already in those early years, but the feeling has stuck with me all these years.
I could go on and on about this, but let’s talk about how to bake different Lucia saffron bun stuff on the coffee maker AND/OR a hair curler instead.
It depends on what kind of saffron bun you are baking, and how many – but about 3 hours
(For many saffron buns)
Start the coffee maker. Put the butter in the can and melt it. Then add the milk and wait until it become lukewarm. Crumble the yeast and stir. Add sugar, saffron, salt and egg and pour everything into a large bowl. Turn off the coffeemaker.
Mix the flour into the bowl, a little at a time, and knead (?! this is a difficult recipe for me to translate;) ) until the dough is nice and smooth. Set the dough to prove for 45 minutes under a kitchen towel.
Now I have two different ways of cooking these saffron breads – on the hair curler (Lucia saffron swirls) or on the coffee maker (Lucia saffron discs) of course. See instructions below.
Form the dough like a sausage and flatten it. Swirl the flat dough sausage around the curling iron and leave it until it’s baked properly. I guess the time factor depends a lot on what hair curler you use. I have an old, almost useless hair curler so I had to leave it for about 50 minutes.
Serve the Lucia saffron swirl together with mulled wine.
Shape the dough into discs that are the same size as the coffee maker plate. Press the raisins in the saffron discs, if desired. Leave the saffron discs to prove for another half an hour under a towel.
Start the coffee maker and click a small piece of butter on the plate. When it is melted place a saffron disc on the plate and cook it for 15-20 minutes on each side, or until it got a nice golden color (do not forget it, then it becomes black). Repeat until you don’t want to spend more time on this shit and bake the remaining dough in the oven instead. Turn off the coffeemaker.
Serve the Lucia saffron discs with absolutely nothing else than mulled wine.
I rest my case…
In Sweden we got a really popular and important charity radio/TV show this time of year called Musikhjälpen. I was super honored that I got invited this morning to cook christmas candy in my coffee maker. And whilst the candy was cooking I taught the hosts how to make balloon animals. Yup, balloon twisting is one of my other hobbies.
The candy I cooked in my coffee maker is called “Ischoklad” and is one of the most popular christmas candies in Sweden. I have no clue what it’s called in english so I just call it Christmas Chocolate! You will get a couple of different recipes of Christmas Chocolate the next few weeks, this is the simplest one.
45 minutes + cooling
Start the coffee maker. Melt the butter in the can and then add the chocolate. Meanwhile, place some peppermint in the forms. Stir every now and then.
Pour the chocolate into the forms when everything is melted nice together. Turn off the coffeemaker.
Here’s some more pictures from this morning.