Afternoon Tea – How to cook Lemon Curd with your coffee maker

coffee machine cuisine

Time

  • 2.5 hours

Ingredients

  • 50g butter
  • 1 egg
  • 1 1/4 dl sugar
  • 1 lemon (the juice and a small amount of the zest)
  • 1 sandwich
  • Cream cheese
  • Tea

Instructions

Start your coffee maker. Peel and juice the lemons into the carafe together with butter and half of the sugar. Carafe-fry it until mixed well and stir every now and then until it thickens.

Beat egg and the rest of the sugar until it gets fluffy and stir it into the lemon mixture. Whisk until all ingredients are well combined and carafe-fry, whilst stirring once in a while, until the mixture is creamy and thick. Remove the lemon curd from the coffee maker heater and set aside to cool.

But don’t turn off the coffee maker! Now it’s time to heat some water for tea and after that use the heater to roast a slice of bread. Do it.

Turn off your coffee maker after you did it.

Spread a layer of cream cheese and lemon curd on the bread and serve it with a hot cup of tea. I wish you a lovely afternoon!

coffee machine cuisine

Can you recognize the couple on the plate?

coffee machine cuisine

Mix the fluffy sugar/egg mixture with lemon mixture.

coffee machine cuisine

And this was how you can cook lemon curd using only your coffee maker.

coffee machine cuisine

<3

Photo: Dan Sörensen

Sausaghetti – VIDEO

Sausaghetti is one of my favorite dishes, not because of the fact that the whole dish just taste like boiled sausage, but because it’s fun to cook and the kids love it!

As always I speak Swedish in the clip, but it comes with subtitles!

Time

  • 1 hour

Ingredients

  • Sausage
  • Spaghetti
  • Oil
  • Salt
  • Butter
  • Ketchup

Instructions

Divide the sausage into smaller pieces, break the spaghetti and fit in some of the spaghetti straws into the sausages. Place it into the coffee maker carafe, pour oil over it and add some salt. Pour water into the coffee maker brewer and start your coffee maker. Depending on what type of spaghetti you have the cooking time can vary. My sausaghetti was done after approximately 45 minutes. Turn off your coffee maker.

Pour off the water and add butter onto the sausaghetti. Stir. Place the sausaghetti on a plate and add ketchup.

Delish! Well if you like the taste of sausage that is…

cooking with your coffee maker

Prepare the sausaghetti together with your kids, they will love it!

cooking with your coffee maker

“Moooommiiieee, let go of my sausaghetti!”

cooking with your coffee maker

Looks kind of funny, doesn’t it?

coffee machine cuisine

The filter thingy works great as a strainer in coffee maker cooking.

cooking with your coffee maker

And this is how you cook sausaghetti with your coffee maker!

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Delicious Tapas

I just love tapas! If we’re going out to eat I always suggest tapas restaurants. My favorite ones are the bacon wrapped date plums, sardines in vinegar and cheeses in all different styles.  If I order meatballs though I always get disappointed, they never taste as good as ordinary Swedish meatballs.

Obviously tapas is great to cook with a coffee maker so I’ve made lots of different dishes these past years.  All of today’s tapas are delicious and very easy to cook with a coffee maker. This is how you do it.

coffee machine cuisine

 

Time

  • 30-45 min / tapas

Ingredients

  • Bacon wrapped date plums
  • Bacon
  • Date plums
  • Cheese filled peppers
  • Peppers
  • Philadelphia
  • Red onion
  • Garlic
  • Cayenne Pepper
  • Chili
  • Balsamic vinegar
  • Serrano Wrapped halloumi
  • Serrano
  • Halloumi
  • Honey
  • Camembert with tomato stuff
  • Camembert in a size that fits the heater
  • Mini tomatoes
  • Parsley
  • Salt
  • Olive oil
  • Arugula

Instructions

Start the coffee maker and prep the different tapas.

Bacon wrapped date plums
Cut the bacon slices in half and wrap the dates. Fry them on the heater until the bacon gets crispy and golden. Twist and turn occasionally.

Cheese filled peppers
Mix the cheese with chopped onion, a little garlic and season. Cut the top off the peppers and fill it with the delicious goo. Fry them on the heater until they get golden. Twist and turn occasionally.

Drizzle balsamic vinegar over the finished tapas.

Serrano Wrapped Halloumi
Cut halloumi into small pieces and wrap it with slices of serrano. Twist and turn occasionally until it seems finished.

Drizzle some honey over the finished tapas.

Camembert with tomato stuff
Heat a dash of oil in the carafe and add chopped mini tomatoes, parsley and a pinch of salt. Carafe-fry until it has become thoroughly heated.

Grease the heater and place the cheese on it. Fry it approximately 15 minutes on each side. Add the tomato stuff on top on the cheese when finished.

Turn off the coffee maker and serve the different tapas on a fresh bed of arugula.

coffee machine cuisine

Prepping of the coffee maker cooked tapas!

coffee machine cuisine

Sous chef Zappa helped out as always.

coffee machine cuisine

Everything gets better with bacon? I’ve actually tried that and will post the results in another post (it’s not true).

coffee machine cuisine

Can-frying of the tomato stuff.

coffee machine cuisine

How to cook tapas with your coffee maker.

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

When I competed in the Tapas Swedish Championship…

I’ve made Tapas many times with my coffee maker. One time, a couple of years ago in the beginning of my “cooking career”, I uploaded my tapas recipe for the Swedish Tapas Championship. Didn’t think much of it afterwards since it was a coffee maker cooked tapas that I uploaded just for fun. BUT IT REACHED THE FINALS! So I had to go to Stockholm and prepare my tapas together with a couple of other finalists (they were more or less pros) in a big kitchen. So I stood there with my coffee maker while all of the others used more “traditional” ways to cook their dish. That was so weird.

coffee machine cuisine

Since I had to wait a long time for my tapas to coffee maker cook I just drank loads of wine (it was a wine distributor that arranged the competition = FREE WINE WEHU!)

Then I had to present my dish in front of a jury! They didn’t know that it was cooked with a coffee maker and when I told them they first thought I was a complete moron that made fun of the championship. But after they announced the winner (it wasn’t me) and all of us had a dinner I told them more about my experiment. And they loved it! Or they might also have thought that I was mentally challenged and were just being nice to me.

tapas championship

Just look at them! WEIRD! The guy in red is a former Swedish musician that I had a huge crush on when I was little, that made it even more weird.

squid tapas

It looked kind of nice though, right?

I wasn’t supposed to write about this tapas today. I’ve got a brand new recipe I made a couple of days ago – with great tasting tapas (I’ve learned a lot these past years!). But since I’m going on and on about this dish I might as well continue and that other recipe will have to wait.

The reason why I made this particular tapas was because I fell in love with some squids. Well… Just look at them.

cooking with a coffee maker

<3

So after Dan took some photos of them I had to come up with a recipe. And here it is:

Squid tapas

Time

  • 1 h 30 min

Ingredients

  • Squid
  • Halloumi
  • Red onion
  • Shrimps
  • Lemon salt
  • Pepper
  • Garlic
  • Butter

I made a sauce as well but it had like two thousand ingredients and didn’t even taste that good. I tried to make some kind of a orange/sweet chili sauce. So serve with a nice orange sauce.

Instructions

Clean the squid and chop into smaller pieces. Put a piece on a stick, then a piece of onion and halloumi. Repeat until the stick is full and place a shrimp at the end.

Start your coffee maker. Add butter and garlic onto the coffee maker heater and place the squid tapas directly on it. Fry until they get a golden color. Twist and turn the stick every now and then. Season.

Turn off your coffee maker and serve the squid tapas together with (hopefully) a nice and fresh orange sauce.

squid tapas

How to cook squid tapas with a coffee maker.

coffee machine cuisine

The coffee maker chef in action.

squid tapas

Squid tapas!

wille crafoord

Oh yes. He definitely thought I was “different”.

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

 

 

How to cook cat testicles with your coffee maker

Speaking of ballz… A while back ago, when I posted the “How to cook a cat with your coffee maker” on my Swedish blog, some people got kind of upset. I got all kind of weird comments but especially one got me very confused. This one person called me a cannibal and I really don’t get it. I’m not a cat (regardless of what Chris Ramsey believes). Iggy is not a human. So if I ate her (or if she ate me) that’s not cannibalism? Then it would be cannibalism if I ate a chicken, a cow, a pig or even if I swallowed a fly. And isn’t it normal in like China to eat both cats and dogs? And most of the Chinese people aren’t cannibals, are they? No, that was just a really stupid comment that I got.

But some people are kind of stupid and for those people I followed up with this next recipe, just to clear things out. If a cat eat parts of a cat – THAT´S cannibalism.

Or should I say canniballism

Fittingly the day after I got the comment we left Zappa for neutering. So now I give you my canniball-recipe:

how to cook food with your coffee maker how to cook food with your coffee maker

Time

  • 1 hour (excl. neutering)

Ingredients

  • 1 set of fresh cat testicles
  • 2 shrimps
  • 1 tbsp of Russian caviar (only the best for the best!)
  • Some minced meat
  • 1 quail egg yolk
  • 1 dash of oil
  • Some rocket salad

Instructions

Leave your male cat at the vets in the morning and pick him and “the remains” up in the afternoon.

Pour water into the coffee maker brewer and place the balls in the coffee maker carafe. Start your coffee maker and cook the balls until they get a bit more tender – but still with a crunchy core. The time depends on the size of the balls.

Meanwhile, prepare for the plating that ought to be kind of small portions – suitable for your cat. First a small bed of arugula, then a nice and round portion of minced meat and top with an egg yolk and a ball next to it.

Since it’s most often two balls I wanted to make two slightly different dishes. First the arugula, then the meat, but now top with shrimp, caviar and – of course – the second testicle.

Turn off your coffee maker.

Ready to be served!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Trying to find a suitaball recipe.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Don’t play with the food, Zappa!

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook cat testicles with your coffee maker.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

“Smells ballmy…”

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Nice to lick some ballz.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

“Thank you, Mami. That was delectaball!”

Now, that wasn’t hard to understand. Was it?

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Watch Virtually Famous!

This is definitely the best panel show ever. You’ve got to see it! As I told you a while back I was invited as a “Mystery Guest”… Ah, just watch the show HERE and see for your self what happens.  If you can’t see the show just OK the stuff on this site (Hola.org) and then try again.

coffee machine cuisine

“IS SHE A CAT?!” -Chris Ramsey

meowtfit of the day

“You told me to smell her!”

meowtfit of the day

“This one’s actually quite sexy. If that was on Tinder I would swipe right.” – Kevin McHale

cats wearing tights

Look! I got the title once again!

As you can see it was my cat Gucci and our blog Meowtfit of the day (that started the Cats wearing tights trend (sorry for that)) I talked about.

How to cook Swedish Meatballs with your Coffee Maker – VIDEO!

Swedish meatballs are the greatest. And you shouldn’t try to make them from scratch. Buy prepared ones and they will taste much better, like the ones at IKEA. The meatballs must be served with mashed potatoes and lots of lingonberries.

Of course I have made both home made meatballs, lingonberry jam and mashed potatoes with my coffee maker but I reckon I should show you a really simple recipe (although I obviously had some trouble making it as you can see in the clip…) for all of you students out there! This was one of my favorite dishes to prepare when I lived in that dorm in the beginning of my coffee maker experiment.

And please subscribe to my show The Coffee Maker Chef! I’ve seen some upcoming clips and it’s going to be sooo awesome weird.

ROSKILDE FESTIVAL

YAAAAY! On sunday Roskilde Festival opens. I can’t wait! We’re driving down south to Lund and Malmö tomorrow and will leave the cats with Dan’s brother and his family. And I’m going to spend some time with my niece, Thilde. This is Thilde.

how to cook food with a coffee maker

The Swedish Mini Coffee Maker Chef <3 Of course she’s wearing her best cat tee whilst cooking with her coffee maker that auntie gave her. Her favorite book is this one, we read it every time we see each other. 

Since my brother and his wife are going to a wedding it’s finally all clear for me and Thilde to cook with their beautiful Mocca Master! (To my brother: NO, I’M JUST KIDDING!!! I KNOW I’M NOT ALLOWED TO COOK WITH YOUR FREKKIN MOCCA MASTER! Chill.)

Anyway… On sunday we’re going to Roskilde and have an amazing week with lots of great music, friends, weirdness and food of course. This is how you cook my favorite festival food with a coffee maker. Canned ravioli! Since I can’t bring my coffee maker to Roskilde I will probably eat this cold every day (too lazy to heat it on the camping area).

FESTIVAL FOOD – CANNED RAVIOLI

cooking with a coffee maker

Time

  • ≥ 0 sec

Ingredients

  • 1 can of ravioli

Instructions

Start your coffee maker and add the ravioli into the carafe. Heat as long as you cope and serve the food directly from the can. Turn off the coffee maker.

cooking with a coffee maker

Yum? Yum!

cooking with a coffee maker

Canned pea-soup is also great festival food, and then there’s Dan’s favorite – white beans. Too bad that Dan is sooo picky and always want to heat the food before eating. Yawn.

Roskilde

Serve the cold ravioli with lukewarm 19 dkk wine from Netto. And look at that little armpit vagina! Sweet.

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

Happy midsummer!

Haha, I never get tired of this. Last week we went to our cabin again and some friends joined us. I’ve already told you about Zappa and his sock hat and this time it was the same procedure again when we entered the smaller road. He’s like “OPEN THE FREKKIN WINDOW NOOOOOW, HUMAN!” and tries to smash it with his wrinkly head if I won’t open right away.

First I showed our friends in the back seat what it’s like for him without the sock hat. They immediately understood the problem. Then I put the sock hat on and they were amazed and probably thought I’m the smartest crazy cat woman in the world.

Kalle filmed him (and sang a gangster song as well):

Soon (in two hours) we’re off to the cabin again! We’re going to celebrate midsummer – THE best holiday in my opinion. That and crayfish parties. Or all parties really as long as you get to sing schnaps songs and wear hats. But I especially like the Midsummer hats that are made of flowers, leaves and stuff. Even made one to Gucci last year.Swedish midsummerI always forget that this is supposed to be a blog about food and not about cats. Maybe I should post a midsummer recipe as well. Yup, I’ll do that. You know? The most popular dish we Swedes eat on midsummer (well on every holiday, because we eat the same stuff on all holidays) is the soused herring. Hell, that’s disgusting. I remember last midsummer when our guests arrived and brought lots of this shit and I almost puked in front of them by the thought of it. Now that’s a proper welcome, right? I don’t like herring at all any longer and I’ve told you the story before and you can read about it here (beware of disgusting stuff, like puke- and diarrhea disgusting).

If you should try herring, try this type. This I actually loved (but if you read the story you know why I don’t any longer).

Pickled herring with onion

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Time

  • 1 hour + preparations and cooling

Ingredients

  • 1 tin of herring fillets
  • 0.5 dl vinegar
  • 2.5 dl water
  • 2 tsp pimento
  • 2 bay leaves
  • ½ dl sugar
  • 1 onion
  • 1 red onion
  • ½ leek

Instructions

Open the tin and drain the disgusting liquid stuff. Rinse the fillets and put it in a coffee carafe filled with water overnight.

Divide the herring into small pieces the following day and chop up all of the different onions.

Place everything except the herring (and the water) in the coffee carafe and pour the water into the brewer. Start the coffee maker. Let it coffee maker cook for about 30 minutes and then let it cool. Turn off the coffeemaker. Add the herring and pour everything into a fancy jar. It’s an old Swedish tradition as well that you should decorate the jar with some kind of balloon animal.

Serve.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

You could put the fillets in other bowls, but this is the coffee machine cuisine, right?

how to cook food with your coffee maker

How to cook pickled herrings in your coffee maker.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Typical Swedish christmas easter midsummer food.

Happy midsummer!

Photo: Dan Sörensen.

How to cook a pizza with your coffee maker – VIDEO!

When the film crew was here and recorded my web show, The Swedish Coffee Maker Chef, there was no time to cook pizza from scratch. Well, maybe there was but I think it’s boring to prepare the dough from scratch so we bought a pre-cooked dough that came with salsa as well. I have coffee maker cooked pizzas a couple of times before and I will post one of those recipes after this clip, and then you can choose how you would like to cook your pizza.

Haha! The team was at our house (in Gothenburg instead of a studio in Stockholm) and filmed partly because of the cats. They are a big part of this blog and of course they should be a part of the web show as well. I started to regret this deal the morning the crew came due to the fact that Zappa was extremely poor in his little stomach and had the diarrhea from hell. Sphynx cats get this relatively easy and the smell is absolutely horrifying. Just when we started filming one of the guys in the crew started to giggle a lot and I got interrupted and asked him why he giggled. Then I saw it… The skid marks on our new, white carpet! And the diarrhea smell! Zappa came out from the toilet, sat down and wiped his shitty ass on our carpet in front of this giggling guy on the sofa. Kind of embarrassing, but I felt sorry for Zappa and his itching anus. And too bad they didn’t caught it on tape.

But this isn’t a post about cat diarrhea but about pizzas. And this is how you cook a pizza with your coffee maker.

 MINI PIZZA

cooking with your coffee maker

Time

Approximately 3 hours for one mini pizza

Ingredients

It’s hard to write an exact recipe for a mini pizza, it such small amounts. The dough is a recipe for a large pizza, which you may divide into smaller pieces. It is also possible to freeze the pizza dough.

Pizza dough (for many mini pizzas)
50 g yeast
1 teaspoon salt (preferably sea salt flavored with rosemary)
A pinch of sugar
3 dl water
0.5 ml olive oil
9 dl flour
butter

Tomato sauce (also very small amounts)
Passata
Tomato paste
Pepper
Frozen herb mixture

Topping (for two or three mini pizzas)
½ small onion
1 can of tuna
1 tsp Mango Chutney
Grated cheese
Feta cheese
Peanuts
Curry
Salt
Pepper
Oil
Pizza Seasoning

Instructions

Mix the yeast, salt, sugar, oil and lukewarm water in a bowl. Stir it so that it blends properly. Stir in about 8 dl flour (a little at a time) so that the dough becomes smooth. Prover the dough in the bowl under a cloth in a half hour. Take a piece of dough, about the size of a golf ball, and knead it thoroughly on a floured surface. Add more flour if dough is too sticky. Flatten this properly and shape it so that it fits the heater.

how to cook food with your coffee maker

Like a professional! ;)

Start the coffee maker. Pour a small amount of oil directly on the heater, and heat it properly – about 10 minutes. Place the thin pizza crust on the heater and bake it for about fifteen minutes on both sides, or until it has a nice color and are no longer doughy. Remove the pizza crust and clean the heater.

cooking with your coffee maker

Pour a dash of oil in the carafe and heat it for about 15 minutes. Chop the onion in the meantime and fry all of it in the coffee maker carafe for about 25 minutes.

Now it’s time to prepare the tomato sauce! Mix in a little tomato puree along with the passed tomatoes and season with pepper and herb mix. Stir. Easy peasy! Mix tuna, mango chutney, curry and cheese (or whatever you like to have on your pizza) in the carafe along with the onion. Fry this in the coffee carafe for half an hour. Stir occasionally. Season with salt and pepper. Turn off your coffee maker.
how to cook food with your coffee maker

Carafe-fry the topping.

Spread a layer of tomato sauce on the pizza crust and after that add tuna topping. Sprinkle the pizza spice and peanuts over your fantastic meal. Serve with a fresh salad and a cold beer. Omnomnomnom.
how to cook food with your coffee maker

I ♥ Pizza.

What type of toppings do you prefer on your pizza?

Photo: Dan Sörensen.